Changing Yourself Gets to Be SIMPLE (The How)

I’ve outlined how AWARENESS and ACCEPTANCE are the first 2 steps to creating changes in your life that stick and stay. (Because how many times have you wanted to change your life, career, relationships, or anxiety, but then nothing you try works for very long?)

The FINAL step to truly embracing new behaviors, attitudes, and beliefs is THIS:

Find and practice different ways to meet your (legit) needs. 

Spoiler: it’s NOT comfortable at first. But here’s how this works:

1. We recognize that our “old” coping skills got the job done somehow.

• Chocolate soothed you and comforted you when everyone else was critical and judgmental.
• Perfectionism allowed you to feel in control when your parents went off the rails in your home. 
• People pleasing allowed you to feel loved and accepted when you faced crippling loneliness.
• Watching porn helped you feel satisfied and lovable when rejection hit you in every relationship.

2. We practice NEW core beliefs—like “Maybe I’m lovable,” or “I CAN do this job—I have every qualification I need.”

• We say them even if they are awkward at first.
• We catch ourselves when we self-criticize and gently redirect that harsh inner voice.
• We surround ourselves with positive messages and practice new “inner dialog” skills a little every day. 

3. We find alternative ways to feel loved, accepted, and valuable—and we teach our brains to favor them.

• Instead of playing another porn video, we call a friend and share that we are having a hard day.
• Instead of chocolate as a first option, we take a walk first and see how our body responds.
• Instead of fawning and making ourselves “wrong” in arguments, we stop tolerating hurtful language from a partner or friend.
• Instead of spending countless hours obsessing over a work project to feel in control, we listen to a good song or get out in the sunshine.

Though it’s not easy to change (we often have to confront hard memories, big feelings, and be willing to “parent” ourselves the way we were not as a child), it’s SIMPLE. When you do follow these steps, change is inevitable. And usually in surprisingly rewarding ways.

I break it all down in my new book:  You Are Not Broken.

You can order a copy by clicking the title You Are Not Broken anywhere in this post. 

To help you navigate the ACTION phase of change, I hope you’ll grab this Bonus: 

During the next few months, I’ll be offering a discount on a Hypnotherapy package for anyone from my mailing list that purchases my book and leaves a review.  Simply send me an email with a screenshot of your review and proof of your book purchase, and I’ll send you a discount code for your package.

Come along with me on several supportive and FREE meditations that introduce you to hypnotherapy and how it can help you make the changes you want to see in your life: 

• Release Self-Doubt and Limiting Beliefs: Hypnosis to Embrace Your Wholeness
• Release Guilt and Self-Doubt: Guided Hypnosis for Inner Peace
• Morning Meditation for Confidence and Presence 
• Hypnosis for Inner Resilience and Self-Worth
• Sleep Hypnosis for Self-Healing, Inner Strength, and Emotional Release
• Morning Meditation to Connect with Your Higher Self and Inner Child
• Self Trust and Confidence Deep Sleep Meditation
• Somatic Meditation to Ground, Cleanse, and Release Emotions
• Mind Body Healing Visualization Meditation
• Morning Meditation for Self-Care

Embracing gentle, intentional ACTION is possible. Let’s do it together.

Sara