Good job, BUT...(How to Evict Half-Compliments From Your Mind)

There is almost nothing worse than the dreaded half-compliment. 

That’s when someone tells you “Good job, BUT….” And then they follow with one or more of these quips:

• Could you please highlight these last few spreadsheet cells in blue instead?
• What about that dust under the radiator?
• Wash those last 5 glasses and then you’re done.
• Can you jump a little higher on that next lay-up?
• That frosting is a little squashed in the pan corner.
• Those towels could be just a little straighter in the closet.
• Next year we’ll increase your revenue goal because you’ve done so well this year.
• That customer had a complaint about the product quality and shipping date.

Get the idea? With these half-compliments, you may be doing good things, but nothing you do is ever quite good enough. 

This “always room for improvement” attitude (either inside you or coming from others) is what can exhaust us, deplete us, and rob us of joy and satisfaction. When this voice plays in your head, there IS no satisfaction or rest, ever.

My father had such an attitude. As an engineer, he continually searches for the best, most efficient, functional way of doing everything. So much so that he can sidetrack an entire family dinner (if we let him!) by worrying whether my artwork is hanging correctly above my mantle. True story, this actually happened. 

And similar stories happened a lot in my young life—about sports and school work. Those half-compliments from him came from a well-intentioned place, but set me up to never relax or be satisfied with my accomplishments. I wanted to please him but never quite could.

For many of us, it’s THIS voice that we labor under, that we build our lives from, that we wear out our loved ones with. 

Where did it come from, this harsh Inner Critic? You have an idea about my story, but what’s yours?

That’s why I wrote my new book, You Are Not Broken: A Compassionate Guide to Uncovering Your Inner Wisdom and Transforming Your Life With Hypnotherapy.

To explore deeply where the voices come from that keep us locked in patterns. Patterns we did not choose. Patterns we can’t explain, because we know we want lives that satisfy and fill us with love, joy, and contentment, even though we can’t seem to actually receive those things with that perfectionist voice in our head telling us we are never finished.

The good news? That critical voice never really came from inside you. It’s not one more thing you have to fix, perfectly, because on one else will do it right. 

When you read You Are Not Broken, you’ll find out why this voice has actually served you and kept you safe all these years, and then help this part of you retire in confidence, while a NEW voice begins to take hold. 

One that means it when it says “Good job. Now go play, rest, eat, dance, create, and just BE…and enjoy it all.”

You can order your copy of You Are Not Broken by clicking the title anywhere in this post. 

Bonus: During the next few months, I’ll be publishing a series of meditative processes inspired by and supportive of the book, You Are Not Broken.  Here are the first two to kick off your journey with me through the book. Let’s find peace and joy together and sustain it all year long.

Release Self-Doubt and Limiting Beliefs: Hypnosis to Embrace your Wholeness

Release Guilt and Self-Doubt: Guided Hypnosis for Inner Peace

Cheers to whole-hearted compliments that truly recognize Who. You. Are.

Sara