Self-Trust to Move From Self-Critical to Self-Loving

Be Present for Yourself

"Learn to be present for yourself, fully present in a way that's new and delightful.  Be present for your thoughts and emotions.  Be present for the gentle way in which your heart and body lead you on.  Learn to be fully present for each step of your growth, each step of your journey.

Value yourself, for who you are, what you think and feel, and how you grow.  For many years you neglected yourself.  It was as though you were unconscious of who you were, how you felt, what you believed.  You believed that kept you safe, protected you from feelings you didn't want to feel.  You believed it was how you should live.  Now you are learning another way.  Survival is no longer enough.  It does not meet the needs of your heart and your soul.  Now you want to live fully and joyfully.  To to that, you must be present for yourself.

Be fully present for others, too.  Be present for their spirits, their emotions, the words they have to say to you, but especially be present for their hearts.  You no longer have to fear losing or neglecting yourself if you are present for others.  You can do this safely now.  You will not be consumed by their needs; you will not become trapped in the workings of their lives.  And if you're present for yourself, you'll know how much presence to give to others.

Be present for life--for the starlit skies and the chirping birds that sing to the morning sun.  Be present for the earth and grass under your feet, for the feel of a snowflake in your hand.  Be present for all the magic and mysteries of the universe.

But most of all, be present for yourself.  Then your presence for others and life will naturally flow."

~Melody Beattie, Journey to the Heart

Moving from Self-Critical to Self-Loving must Include Presence and Trust

As humans, we want to change, we want to grow and be the best versions of ourselves.  When we want to change, this is essentially a criticism of ourselves, right?  So, how do we approach this desire AND let go of self-criticism?  That's the million dollar question, isn't it?

I have said it before, and I will continue to say it until everyone understands this truth, which is where the magic of transformation lies: there is absolutely nothing wrong with you.  You are not broken and do not need to be fixed! You have everything inside yourself you need to become your truest self, your full potential.

I discussed this further in a previous article:  Help! I Can Imagine The Life I Want, but Can Never Seem to Get It–What’s Wrong With Me?

"no healing (or change) can come from a place of judgement or frustration.  The first step is offering yourself kindness, love, and acceptance WHERE YOU ARE before you can move forward."

My Story of Shifting out of Self-Criticism

I am a regular, perfectly imperfect human like you and everyone else.  Sure, I teach mindfulness and meditation, I work with clients to make changes and shift their mindsets to move towards the freedom of the life they desire.  AND I am, just like you, a work in progress.

I have those parts of myself I'd like to change.  Currently, I am in an intensive Master Coach Training Program which requires me to do my own deep inner work.  In order to be the best coach for my clients, I must first be the best coach for myself.  There's nothing like a 9 month long intensive journey such as this one to get cracked wide open!

In my growth, I am working to build trust in myself.  As the life long learner that I am, I dove right into researching how to build trust.  Most of the information I found was about earning trust from others, so I translated the information for self-trust.  In order to build trust, one must:

• Show up consistently
• Keep your word with yourself
• Follow through with actions you promise yourself
• Value yourself and don't take yourself for granted
• Be honest
• Be open about your feelings
• Admit your mistakes and be willing to start over

My daily practice to build trust in myself and practice the above list of qualities is:

1. At least 5 minutes of exploratory, nourishing movement
2. At least 5 minutes of meditation
3. At least 5 minutes of journaling (mindset)

This is my, hands down, favorite, most nourishing self-care practice and can be adjusted for the time that feels right to you.  I call it the 3M approach:  Movement, Meditation, Mindset.  Schedule yourself a 3 minute, 15 minute, or one-hour gift to include Movement, Meditation, and Mindset.  More about this nourishing practice here. 

If you are into this 3M approach, I highly recommend our self-led signature 6 week course:  Move & Meditate to make the commitment to building your love, trust, and acceptance through the combination of these life changing practices.  This course is for movement-curious meditation enthusiasts and those desiring more self-love to move beyond “damage control” into whole-body joy and fulfillment.

Day 3 of 9 months Journal Entry:

After reading the passage from the top of this article, "Be present for yourself," I wrote the following this free form journal entry.

I show up to this journal for day 3.  ONLY 3 days?!?

• I sense judgment
• awareness of judgment
• choice to switch
• compassion=I am enough
• curiosity=How can this time be different?  how can I sustain this practice long term to build self-trust?
• celebrate=3 days IN. A. ROW. YES! What an accomplishment!

When I am present for myself, I am present in gratitude and joy.  I deeply and completely love and accept myself.

When I am present for myself, I listen inward to hear my inner wisdom, I look inward to see all of me, I know my inner worth, I am building inner TRUST.

Takeaways and Resources for Support

There’s always another layer of discovery and healing within our quest for self-acceptance, self-love, and personal growth.  Each layer must be met with compassion and not judgment or criticism.  Thankfully, each layer also includes a feeling of progress and life improvement before the next dive into “the work.”

And thankfully, we have tools and support systems available so we don't have to re-invent the wheel when it comes to personal growth and we don't have to do it alone. 

• Two of our most recent practices are great for building love, trust, and acceptance for yourself:
  • Transformational Hypnosis to Change Habits and Increase Self-Worth with Self-Love
  • 20 Minute Meditation to Release Suppressed Emotions: Move Energy Through you
  • You are Enough, You are Worthy Meditation and Affirmations
• Hypnotherapy is such a gentle and efficient way to rewire your self-critical messages, it can be nurturing as well as reflective and change-making.  It is a safe and effective method for making desired changes. 
• For those who aren't ready, aren't comfortable, or don't "buy the hype," transformative coaching is another tool to support self-acceptance and self-love. 
• Journaling is a great way to process and get out what's in your head.
• Discipline can be a form of self-care and a wonderful way to build self-trust.

As we discussed in last weeks about the inner critic, after we understand, heal and shift what we desire to change within ourselves, it remains to repattern our behavior. This is because our subconscious drives 95-98% of our behaviors, which leaves very few behaviors that we are consciously taking action on.  Be patient and gentle with yourself and this journey.

I hope this is helpful!

Take care and be well,

Sara

Additional Resources:

Members Oasis for: Unlimited access to all Mindful Movement Meditations and Hypnosis Practices; Exclusive Members Only Content added EVERY month; Practice anytime, anywhere.

Purchase your favorite Meditation and Hypnosis practices from the Mindful Movement. You can download an MP3 file to listen to anytime, anywhere with no internet access necessary.

A personalized hypnotherapy session can support you in making a change you desire.  It would be my honor to help you through the process of change that you are looking for.

Let us know how we can help.  Please feel to leave a comment with any other suggestions, comments, or questions for the community!